Will I ever speak your language: ART

Sat in a lecture where I am learning more about everything else but anything the poor tutor is talking about?

In Art is it quite common to come across people who talk you into confusion, is this a tactic to bewilder the viewer into believing their work is is of some intelligence, meaning or depth?
Words I have never heard are repeated to me,  as if the repetition of the words will somehow convince me I understand them.

It scares me as I do not think no matter no long I study, no matter how much I read, no matter how many dictionaries I revise, I do not think I will ever be able to accomplish a fluency in this language. Does this mean I will never be respected as an artist, does this mean I have no hope in one day teaching in further or higher education?

When did Art become a science? A mind boggling study of life/ sciences/ education/ views/ opinions/ history and symbolism: combined and pieced together with long words to explain the artists view of the world.  When did a piece of art stop becoming the main outcome of an artists practice?  When did it become about everything else but? I am not saying that Art isn't and shouldn't be a representation of an artists view on life, but what I am asking is when did this study become the work and not the Art itself?

Why do I not have all these big words to describe my process, my thoughts around my work,  will this come with time or will this be something, like I mentioned before that becomes my weakness and downfall? Or will I be able to savvy up my work with fancy words and essay titles after the practice itself is over, and if I do this will it be true?

Work Experience or Exhibition??

So next term I need to think about a placement or professional practice element to my study! 

Unlike most of my peers I am not inspired by becoming the next big artist. I don't see this as a bad thing as my main focus of my work is me... Not in a selfish way! 

For now my work I about getting myself to a place where I inspire and help future students.

A lot of my friends went to University straight from school and then straight into teaching, so at the tender age of 21 they were in a position to guide and mould children's lives! I never understood this as how can you help, guide or give emphasise with children and their parents if you have no life experience yourself!

I feel that as a person I am now better placed to do this as at 29... Although still young I have gained so much life experience through living rather than following the society norms! 

Now is about me getting my practice up to scratch! 

I have approached my current tutors as I would love to gain some insight into the world of teaching! The idea sounds amazing so now I need to see if te experience fits the image I have created in my mind. 

To be continuted....... 

State of Mind

Watching "im a celebrity" I started to question myself!? What am I hoping to find from watching such a programme? Entertainment? 

Entertainment watching other people suffer, go through pain and find sollace by the most ridiculous rewards!? Do we watch this programme to view the "celebrity" suffer, go without their luxuries and live like us "common" people? 

Is that what the metaphor is? Is it really a programme highlighting the issues of class?? The rich and poor?! 

I find it fascinating to watch how as humans we react to confinement, survival, facing fears! Some of us become strong and look after the weaker members, come hide in the shadows and kind of go into a state if denial, then there's the ones who turn on others... Whether to narrow the completion or to entertain themselves I'm not sure!!? 

I guess this is what everyone does everyday in life...  

Self Esteem: A Personal Quiz

I did a quick online Self Esteem Quiz to see how I measure on the Self Esteem Scale. Does doing this not imply it would be low, as someone with a high level of Self Esteem would probably recognise this in themselves and not feel the need to do a QUIZ? Which also implies that mine would be low as I feel the need to be validated by an online test? 

Your Self-esteem score is: 33

Compare your score to the following categories to see how you feel about yourself and how your self-esteem may be affecting your health from an anxiety perspective.

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0 - 20 Low self-esteem. We recommend that you seek professional coaching, counselling, or therapy in order to develop healthier self-esteem. Often, low self-esteem is a factor in the development of an anxiety disorder. Low self-esteem can also be a factor that prevents recovery. Seeking help early is important, as anxiety disorders become entrenched the longer they are unresolved. The more entrenched they become, the longer they take to resolve. However, anxiety conditions can be fully resolved at any stage. The only difference is that recovery will take longer the more entrenched the anxiety condition is. Seeking help early is the best approach. =================================================== 
21 - 40 Moderately low self-esteem. Self-esteem should be an area of personal development for you if you are experiencing an anxiety disorder, as low self-esteem is a contributor to the onset and perpetuation of an anxiety condition. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, personal coaching, or counselling are all ways to increase self-esteem. Self-help materials can also provide information, help, and support.
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41 - 60 Moderate self-esteem. While this is a moderate level, it may be contributing to the onset or the perpetuation of an anxiety condition. You may want to seek self-esteem or anxiety disorder self-help or counselling assistance in order to help lower your risk of further development. Since anxiety disorders have a number of degrees, it's important to prevent further escalation as anxiety disorders become more entrenched the longer they are left unresolved. ===================================================
 61 - 80 Moderately high self-esteem. There are a few characteristics that may increase your risk of developing an anxiety disorder. You may want to seek self-esteem self-help information in order to reduce your overall risk of developing an anxiety condition. ===================================================
81 - 100 High self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem helps to prevent the development of an anxiety disorder. 



I am interested to learn but not at all surprised that Self Esteem is an area that requires my attention. I really struggle with this area especially in my practice! Does this hold me back, YES I think it does as I can constantly seek re-assurance from peers. I am unable at times to trust my won judgement/ instinct when pursuing an idea!

Work Experience

So I have decided that I would like to try and get some experience teaching Foundation, why Foundation??? Well these are students who have chosen to take this subject so will be keen and hopefully eager to learn, experiment and further their art practice. I love the concept of being able to help guide and possibly inspire a new generation. To me Art isn’t just the ability to be able to paint a beautifully formed picture, sculpture or installation. Art is about expressing yourself, who you are, how you perceive things and being free to do so. Art in all forms has been such an important part of my life so far, and this is something I want to share. I have spoke to my tutors who have been extremely supportive in the possibility of providing some support on our own Foundation programme at the University. I cannot wait to do this as I know it will give me a valuable insight into the role and whether this could be a suitable route for me.

The Art Society: "Untitled"

One of the first things I noticed when I started at Coventry University was the non existent Society for anything related to the creative industries. Well not a generic one at least, everything was specific to one medium: photography for example. What I wanted to do was create a forum where students from ALL areas could meet, network and work together! And so came the Art Society "Untitled" So far it has been a huge success with the society being able to hold events which have previously been non existent, for example I have set up life drawing classes, workshops, Artists talks and group critics. For me this is such a motivation for what I'd like to do in the future, I love that the art society is bringing people together from all backgrounds, including students who aren't even studying "Art" or any related subject. I also feel inspired that the Art Society is able to support the Art and Design faculty in areas which perhaps only students can through a Union ran Society, for example: networking, liaising with different faculties to hold events, special workshops etc. I'm not how I will incorporate what I am doing into what I do in the future but I have definitely found a way that my practice can work efficiently and effectively along side my background in recruitment and sales.

Trials and Tribulations

So far this year I have thoroughly enjoyed my practice as it has been more hands on allowing me to be more creative and less restricted.

However by making my practice more hands on I leave myself subject to new challenges which I have not experienced before that I now need to overcome and perfect.

My first challenge has been that of the casts:

Latex: uneven layer and not allowing latex to dry between layers creates a very poor mould. However I have found that by using a cold room the latex drys as you apply meaning you have more control over application! 

Alginate: now I am trying to use the alginate to create a finished piece as opposed to using it for just a mould means I now have to perfect the mix! As I have found it extremely hard to create a smooth mix with no lumps. Lumps for me mean that when my cast drys the lumps start to show!! Again I have foun my mixing it little bit at a time I have more control over the lumps. Also creating a watery mix means I can slowly add more alginate an mix as I go along.

Dodecahedrons: blimey beautiful shape, impossible to get right! The smallest error in creating these shapes results in 12 pieces of pointless materials! Lazer cutting has helped significantly as it allows me to create a perfect shape. Perfect if I get the data import correct, which I have now found rhino to be helpful! 

On a personal level my biggest challenge, has been to stop thinking about a "final peice" as a student you're always pushed to a finished product, exam or project! Learning to loosen myself up and to not think in this way has been hard but my tutorials with Craig have been invaluable!